Fertility Struggle

Before marrying Matt, I knew that having children could be one of our trials. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), but didn't realize the severity until later on. I had been told to start fertility treatments as soon as we were ready to start our family. Not too far into our marriage, we began with treatments. Never in my mind did I think that a few pills wouldn't do the job.  After months and months of zero success, I found that I wasn't ovulating even with medications. After trying artificial insemination twice, followed by Invitro fertilization twice, we are moving on to our next adventure of adopting. Okay that last sentence was pretty heavy and definitely the "short" version of our struggles.  

It's so amazing to look back on everything we've been through together. Not so much what we went through, but how we made it through.  Matt has been my rock through it all. From making all my medication schedules, checking to make sure I follow them (haha), being there every second he can to hold my hand and comfort me. I tried hard not to complain about all the pokes and invasive procedures, but they wore on me. I was getting tired of them. More tiring is the emotional side of it. The first Invitro procedure worked, but was followed by miscarriage. That felt like the lowest point in my life and I'll never forget that pain. Something about us is that we allow ourselves time to grieve, but we also know we have to get back up, no matter what. Matt was great at picking me up during these times. And Bella, our dog, also never let me sleep in very long :) Seriously love both of them so much for making me smile when I didn't think I could.

After the second try of Invitro (and the exhaustion of all our surviving embryos), we were told that genetic testing along with another round of IVF is next on the agenda. We certainly didn't have the money to jump right back in. And even though I wanted to be strong and brave, I couldn't fool myself when thinking of literally starting the process over.

Adoption was something we didn't talk about. I imagine it's a tough subject for both sides in the beginning. At first, I couldn't bear the thought of giving up on having biological children. Then a light bulb came on (thanks to a friend), that adoption would not be the "end" of our story, but only a beautiful part of it! As Matt and I have learned more about adoption, we feel strongly that we are on the right path. We are so excited about our future and look forward to weaving adoption into our lives.

------------------------------ 2 years later -------------------------------

Two years later, we have an almost 2 year old through adoption! Some people may think that having children in the home will heal your fertility issues.  I have learned this is not true, though it does help ease the pain. Having Grayson in our lives has been amazing and certainly has made our story more beautiful through the relationships we have developed and having such a sweet, energetic, and fun spirit in our home.  We are so excited to open our arms again to more children that can only make our lives sweeter. What a blessing our fertility struggle has ended up being!

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